8/21/2021

As a result of posting on social media, people create an impression that their lives are perfect. It has been two years since I was in a coma for 10 days, so I would like to talk about the trend of being honest. Life comes with a lot of road bumps and finding ways to navigate your emotions..

August 21, 2021 is a special day for me, I was involved in a traumatic electric motorcycle accident. When I woke up on August 31st, I was told I was in a coma for 10 days. Three days due to brain trauma then an induced coma for seven, not only that but I had shattered my jaw, knocked out 4 front teeth, and suffered from serve brain bleeding. My initial thought was my life is over, how could this have happened?

Not my first time in the hospital... in high school, I was sent to the emergency room for rupturing my kidney due to a woman's varsity soccer game. Awake in pain in the hospital bed for two weeks and went through two surgeries. (due to the rapid evolution of technology I was able to keep both kidneys)

I have been asked which accident was worse? I was close to death for both hospitalizations. One that was internal bleeding, awake, and helpless. The second time was a simulation I woke up to 10 days later, dealing with doctor appointments and lawyer phone calls for a year and a half after. Both leaving me with new perspectives and difficulties in life, in their unique ways.

I am still the same person, with goals and ambition. Not exactly the way I thought life would play out but you can not always control how the journey begins. What you can control is what you do in this moment. It is okay to fall, but it is how you pick yourself back up.

I believe our life's are aligned right where it is suppose to be. The universe knowingly throwing curve balls at you, being aware and have logical thinking helps you navigate. If you think your life is perfect, it's not. Everyone deals with their own consequences and you may be over looking them.

When I came out of that hospital, I recieved an incredible amount of love and care. I am so thankful to have the people in my life that I do. It's like I was immediately healed. Couple months later I got the job of my dreams, a new apartment and a whole new chapter I was excited to pursue. I was on top of the world, then quickly began to sink. Skipping to the end of the story, I was let go from that high stress job, more doctor appointments, falling into old habits and unwanted drama in my life. This is when I decided took a year off of the corporate life, to potentially "heal".

Today is one year since I was laid off and two years since my accident. You can imagine the stress of finding my place in this world and what my next steps were. My mental health was draining me, started to get into a head space no one should be in. To distract myself, I spent my time doing what I love, photography, blogging, yoga, traveling. All those distractions were just covering the wound.

Took a few wrong turns and it took me awhile to find stability. I tried all types of therapy, reiki, reading, journaling, and talking to friends. Those all put me in the right head space temporarily, but continuous down falls kept interrupting that happiness. I was struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, PTSD, not finding a job I love, my identity was stollen, money, hip-flexor tendinitis, moving home, starting my own business, and countless more.

With all the lows, comes wisdom and independence. Being the person you admire, someone you look up to because it should be yourself. Takes a lot of time and patience. Depression, anxiety and being suicidal can be temporary if you let it. Having self-awareness saved me, it did not happen over night but now I am giving myself the space I need to grow. Meet the rough parts your life with gentleness and those emotions will melt away. Understand why your reactions, thoughts, and emotions happen in situations. Move beyond them because they are out of our control.

Do all the things you love to do, create independence because you can not rely on anyone else too. Go on adventures, create memories, and make mistakes because we are only human. Use determination to motivate you to go through transformation. Progress happens when you are in the present moment.

Your mental health is the most important thing in this world. You are with yourself the most and you need to be selfish. If something does not suit you, change it. This takes courage and persistence to re write your story. I had to learn it the hard way. When you feel you are in the right place, reflect. Be proactive in your mental state.

On social media, it seems all rainbows and butterflies. The reality is I have had a lot more lows then highs in the last two years. Each low taking a part of me and what I stand for. Things are easier said than done. It takes a lot of vulnerability to lift yourself out of the trenches, but it can be done.

My dream for years has been to be a successful photographer and blogger, spreading the word out about mental health and living life to the fullest. I carry so much gratitude to have Werbow and the exciting plans I have for her in the future. No amount of money can take back time, we live in a world with so much opportunity, take advantage.

Here are a few recent photos of me with my permanent teeth! Incredibly grateful for the journey, the people who were authentically there for me every step of the way and my beautiful new teeth. I am embracing the long road to healing and creating new opportunities with liberating insight.

Always listen to you intuition, it takes real courage and fearlessness to over come your past trauma. Having the mind set that you are excited for new changes and learning about yourself more along the way. Accept all your emotions because it is okay not to be okay. Take care of yourself through self-awareness and deeper knowledge of you.

If you have read this far, thank you. You are the reason I do this. Do me a favor a comment "I am mentally selfish" below and write what you think of being vulnerable.